Faith and Cancer

On Friday I was back in hospital for my tenth out-patient maintenance treatment. This cycle of treatments sees me receiving just one of the drugs (Retuximab) that was part of my initial chemotherapy cocktail when the cancer was being targeted. As my type of cancer can't be cured medically at present, the doctors fully expect it to return. Having this maintenance treatment every 2 months is supposed to push back the date of its return. Every treatment means it gets pushed back further and further. I of course still pray that God will intervene and heal me completely. No returns, no come-backs! God can do it, but I'm happy to submit to His plans for me - even if it includes living with cancer. It was only when I sat down in the treatment chair that I suddenly remembered that I had forgotten to drink lots of water in the hours leading up to my treatment. Oh no! Drinking lots of water has, in the past, helped to enlarge my veins a bit and as a result helped with the cannula

Adjusting to living post-cancer can be a challenge in and of itself. I have found I need to find a new 'normal'. I am finding this stage of recovery a bit like walking a tight rope, a balancing act where I am constantly balancing my 'old' normal with the 'new' normal. Where I can forget all about cancer one minute and then next I will be navigating thoughts of fear and doubt. Now that I have been in remission for over a year, cancer is  no longer all-consuming and I am freely able to think about other things.  This is fueled by the ability to do the things I used to do too - go for walks, play guitar, go back to work, do the shopping, look after the kids, etc. In fact days and even weeks can go by where I do not think about cancer at all. This in itself brings interesting challenges because I have had cancer (and it could come back!) so I need to be aware of this. Life is no longer how it used to be. I am having to adjust to living in a new 'normal